The Lost Lizard Poker Run @ Ocotillo Wells

| January 19, 2011

Placing quarters for most efficient transportation

By Dave Blancett, Polaris RZR Owner

The Lost Lizard Poker Run @ Ocotillo Wells in mid-October offered another opportunity to check out the RZR’s capabilities, to further insinuate it as a permanent member of the off-road stable, and to benefit the San Diego Off Road Coalition. Our last trip to Ocotillo Wells had the sand rail on rock tires. This was the first time we had been to Ocotillo Wells, and was also pre-RZR. The sand rail performed OK, but was a bit dodgy because of the ground clearance and the sorts of sharp stuff that we were straddling. Those fuel tanks are not too well protected for that environment; the sand has never been an issue, but rocks…well, hmmm.

Notice odd posture

Also, Linda doesn’t drive the rail, or at least not for a very long time. Last time was about 20 years ago at Glamis. Linda doesn’t use profanity either, or at least not for a very long time. Last time was about 20 years ago at Glamis. (You can see where this is going.) This RZR is easy to operate, and very forgiving if you understand it’s limitations. We discussed the dos and don’ts of RZR piloting, and she agreed to drive with our grandson Rylan as her passenger.

Now, I’m certain you all know how a “poker run” works, with the travel from one checkpoint to another, drawing cards from a deck, filling out your poker hand. These Lost Lizard folks make it a bit more interesting by offering “tasks” to be successfully performed at each checkpoint, additional raffle tickets being awarded for such performance. The tasks varied, from a carnival-style ring-toss to answering

Clenching fists helps concentrate on keeping other areas clenched

questions about various trivia.

One checkpoint in particular, had a post stuck in the ground, and a ring of rocks about 10’ across around it. The object was to take a stack of quarters, $2.00 worth, and transport them once around the circle (or was it twice?) depositing them in a cup on the ground after your lap(s). Simple enough, huh? No hands allowed, and you can’t put them in your mouth. Most people, Linda included, opted for the knee-pinch method, or the thigh press method, which made for an interesting gait while circling the pole.

One gent, however, broke from the crowd so to speak, and placed those eight quarters where he could carry them without having to resort to that mincing-step, knee-pinching, slow-moving method favored by most. He placed them where the sun doesn’t generally shine, and with a good deal of concentration on his clenched cheeks (no, not his face) off he went, at a scorching pace, and dropped nearly all of them in the target zone. Seeing that was worth the price of admission, as well as inspirational. Of course I used the same method! Ever played “Caps” before? Game piece is a beer bottle cap, method and object are the same, but in THIS sandy version, you get to keep your pants on. Maybe that is a little too much information…after all, this is a family publication. I did feel sorry for the guy who had to pick up the quarters and give them to the next contestant.

Anyhow, I collected my raffle tickets and we headed off to the next checkpoint. The fun of this event is the “getting there”, modified games of “Caps” notwithstanding. We had GPS coordinates, as the checkpoints were scattered all over the place, and since there was no specific time we had to be at each checkpoint, we took the circuitous route to most. Linda had the opportunity to try all the features the RZR has to offer, crawling and climbing over rocks and up steep paths in 4-Low, or running flat-out down a smooth desert road, and everything in-between. She loved it! And, best of all, no profanity!

Rylan (age 4) thinking, "I know what you just did. Did you wash your hands?"

That RZR started out with more than a few questions unanswered, but is fitting nicely into the stable of vehicles. It makes a great camp-vehicle for running around large campsites such as our Dumont New Years camp. Last year, that circle was three tenths of a mile around. That’s a large camp! The hike from one end to the other can be an all day experience. Vendor’s Row is a whole lot closer now that the RZR is handy. That may or may not be a plus.

The Poker Run was a success; our camp group won a couple items at the raffle. I couldn’t do any better than a pair of threes on my poker hand. On the up-side, I did buy a nice 12v compressor @ the ORW tent, and that compressor has more than paid for itself since, but that’s another story.

Now, the problem I have to solve is one of transportation. The big trailer is already full and I don’t know if my Class B license allows me to pull doubles. Besides, I have to build a proper hitch receiver on the back of the trailer, and measure the rig overall so I know how much trailer I can attach…

I better get to work.

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